Varus and His Mistress

We then fell into conversation
About Bithynia's situation,
The value of the land,
And what my profit there had been:
I mention'd truly all I'd seen,
And how things really stand.

That not the Pretor nor his train
Could there afford from any gain
More sumptuous dress or fare;
And sure not we, that Pretor's slaves,
The worst of profligates and knaves,
Who prized us not a hair.

"Of course," she said, "as they relate
'Tis usual, you some slaves for state
To bear your litter bought."
I felt a little pride arise;
And was not willing in her eyes
To be a pauper thought.

So cried, "Oh, yes. Though luck was bad,
It was not on the whole so sad,
That I eight slaves should lack."
In truth, I never here nor there
Possess'd a single slave to bear
My litter on his back.

Said she, a harlot thorough bred!
"Catullus, lend me, pray, that bed,
I wish but to be taken
To where Serapis holds his fain"--
"Stay! stay!" said I, "let's think again--
I've none--I was mistaken."

"'Tis Cinna's bed, scarce his alone,
I use it just as 'twere my own:
Who's owner nought care I.
Thou'rt an uncivil troublous jade,
Whose artful mercenary trade
Won't let one tell a lie."