Articles of Business

1.Business will respect the consumers' freedom to worship the almighty dollar in any bank or financial institution and have the right to spend freely in stores or markets within the capitalist system.
2. Business will respect the freedoms of speech and press, so long as they fit the guidelines of the Wall Street Journal. Any derivation from these and the offender will be labeled a liberal and socialist whose meanings come from the words liberty and society, which have no meaning in the business world. Money talks bull-shit walks.
3. A well armed and regulated military will always be ready to defend Business' interests around the world and relieve surplus population when deemed economically necessary.
4. Equal employment will be granted to all, regardless of sex, creed, or race, provided that they accept minimum wage.
5. The people shall have no right to privacy when marketing, credit, and bill collecting are at issue.
6. No Business or person worth over one million dollars will be held to pay a fair or answer to any capital crime, unless it endangers Big Business as a whole.

In concluding, Business reserves the right to change any or all of these articles when it feels that it is economically necessary.