hurt less then

when you have to watch death regularly
when you have to see it happening
when you have to adjust yourself
to this living thing not being around any longer
well, that's when you have to
      find a way to get around it
when you have to separate yourself
      from the details of death

it's hard, you know
turning yourself off like that
turning yourself off to death
but you have to
it will hurt less then

i've been told
that when you see someone
whose life has to end
well,
then you have to look at it

logically

as cruel as that sounds
you have to think
that even if this is someone you love
you have remember that this is life in general:
it starts, there's growth, then conflict, often trauma
culminating in death
face the facts
that's the way it goes

when you have to think of what you have to go through
think of it as a boxing match
think of when you have to
      practice for a violent battle
even if it's just practice
and in practice you're battling a friend

when you are in battle, even in practice
the one against you is no longer your friend
and you have to fight them
like they're your worst enemy
you cannot think they're your friend,
you cannot think that you cannot hurt them

you are in battle
and you know you're on the right side

because even when you practice for battle
you're in battle

you have to remember
all of the things you hate about them
all of the things that are wrong with them

remembering that quells the internal struggle

that makes it easier to do what you have to do

you keep seeing their face
for days before this battle they face

what you'll have to go through
you know it's right
you know what you'll have to put them through
even though it ends with their death

really, you have to stop being so emotional

that's what you have to keep telling yourself

it isn't fun
this isn't what you should have to go through

and i know it'll be hard
turning yourself off like that
turning yourself off to death
but you have to
they say it'll hurt less then