Insomnia

Wide awake
and fully aware
I am swept up
in the steady fast pace
flow of the midtown
rush hour on 8th Ave.

I wonder,
if I slow down
or stop
will I be carried away
or shoved aside
like the homeless,
the fallen leaves
on the stream of humanity?

Will I be washed up
along the banks
of this meandering river,
waterlogged, submerged,
unseen, side-stepped,
avoided, ignored;
left only to watch
the surge of life
pass
from eddies, pools, alcoves,
niches and side streets?

I wait
on the crowded platform
to board the train
alone
in a throng, I am lost
in an existential nightmare.

I take my seat, look around
the railroad car
and ponder
are we just passengers?
Is this my reality
or is it shared by others?

I close my eyes to nap,
& try to accept
that this is as good
as it gets.
But then ask,
will I always be
on the outside
looking in?

I know Richard Cory
            sleeps in peace.